I am embarrassed that I was scammed — is that a normal feeling?

Shame and embarrassment are reported by the majority of scam victims across all age groups, income levels, and educational backgrounds. These feelings are understandable but are often based on the false belief that only naive or unintelligent people get scammed. In reality, fraud investigators note that high-intelligence, well-educated individuals are frequently targeted precisely because scammers invest significant time and psychological sophistication in their approaches.

Scammers use techniques rooted in social psychology — urgency, authority, social proof, reciprocity, and gradual trust-building. They exploit universal human tendencies, not individual weaknesses. Romance scammers may spend months cultivating emotional bonds; investment scammers use professional-looking materials; impersonation scammers leverage real fear about taxes, law enforcement, or health. These are practised deceptions.

Embarrassment also has a practical cost: it often stops victims from reporting scams, warning others, or seeking help. This suits scammers very well, which is one reason victim-blaming culture — even when internalised by the victim themselves — causes wider harm.

You were targeted by a professional whose entire job is deception. Allowing shame to prevent recovery would compound the harm the scammer has already done. Talking to someone — a trusted person, a support line, or a counsellor — is often the first step toward feeling better and taking action.