What is a romance scam?
A romance scam involves a criminal building a fake online romantic relationship with a victim to manipulate them into sending money, gifts, or personal information. The romantic partner is entirely fictitious.
Last reviewed: 10 June 2026
Explanation
Romance scams can range from relatively brief cons to long-term relationships sustained for years. The fraudster creates an appealing persona — typically attractive, successful, emotionally available, and often in a profession associated with being abroad (military, doctor working with NGOs, oil industry engineer). Contact is made through dating apps, social media, or even chance messages.
The relationship is carefully managed. The scammer learns what the victim values and reflects it back. Affection escalates faster than would occur naturally. Within weeks or months the victim has developed genuine emotional attachment to someone they have never met in person and likely never video-called successfully.
When the financial request comes, it is always embedded in the relationship narrative: the scammer needs help, the victim wants to help the person they love, the request feels like part of caring for someone rather than sending money to a stranger. Subsequent requests follow, each justified within the story.
The harm is twofold: financial and psychological. Victims often describe the emotional aftermath as grief — the loss of a relationship they believed was real. This grief, combined with shame, means many victims do not report or seek help promptly. Non-judgmental support is critical.
Common red flags
- An online relationship that has never been in-person and shows no real prospect of meeting
- A partner who always has a professional or personal reason to remain abroad
- Video calls that never work, are very brief, or show a person who does not interact naturally
- Any request for money, no matter how emotionally justified
- Discouragement from telling friends and family about the relationship
- The relationship escalated much faster than any previous relationship you have had
What to do now
- Pause all financial transactions and step back before sending any money
- Share the situation with a trusted friend or family member and listen to their perspective
- Reverse image search all photos from the relationship
- Propose an in-person meeting or live video call with an unexpected question
- Report the profile to the platform and your national fraud authority
- Contact a victim support organisation — support is available without judgment
Frequently asked questions
How do I raise the topic with a friend I think is in a romance scam?
Gently and without accusation. Share specific observations rather than conclusions: 'I noticed they always have a reason they cannot visit' rather than 'You are being scammed'. Avoid ultimatums that could cause your friend to cut contact with you and become more isolated.
Can romance scammers be prosecuted?
Yes, when identifiable. Many operate across international borders, which complicates prosecution, but law enforcement agencies do pursue major operators. Reporting provides intelligence that helps build cases even if your individual case is not prosecuted.