How do I protect myself from a romance scam?
Video-call any online connection early and often, never send money or gifts to someone you have not met in person, and treat any request for financial help from an online-only relationship as a strong warning sign.
Last reviewed: 10 June 2026
Explanation
Romance scams work by building genuine emotional connection over weeks or months before a financial request arrives. The scammer invests significant time to make you feel understood and valued, which makes the eventual request seem reasonable or even like an obligation to help someone you care about. This is deliberate and professional — most romance scammers operate in organised groups with scripts and rotating operators.
The most reliable early detection method is a video call. Scammers frequently use stolen photos of attractive real people — military personnel, doctors, engineers, and models are common persona choices — and cannot produce an on-demand live video matching those images. Request a video call early in the relationship, and if there is always an excuse (camera broken, overseas bandwidth, sensitive job that prohibits video), treat this as a serious red flag. Reverse-image search their photos using Google Images or TinEye to see if they appear elsewhere under a different name.
Financial requests are the definitive signal. The money is never asked for directly at first — it arrives as a crisis: a sudden medical emergency, a business investment going wrong, an emergency that prevents them from accessing their own funds, or a 'once in a lifetime opportunity' they want to share with you. Each payment tends to be followed by another, often larger one. Once you have sent money once, scammers know you are susceptible and will escalate.
Tell someone you trust about the relationship, especially if it is progressing quickly online without meeting. Trusted friends and family are often the first to notice warning signs you may be too emotionally invested to see. Many romance scams also lead into investment fraud — the partner introduces a crypto or trading platform and encourages investment — sometimes called 'pig butchering.'
Common red flags
- Refuses or always has excuses to avoid video calling despite weeks of contact
- Profile photos appear under a different name in a reverse-image search
- Declares strong feelings unusually quickly — love or deep connection within days or weeks
- Describes a glamorous profession that explains being abroad: military, doctor, oil-rig engineer, NGO worker
- Requests money for an emergency: medical, legal, travel, or investment
- Introduces a crypto or trading platform and urges you to invest through it
What to do now
- Request a live video call early and note any excuse for not doing so
- Reverse-image search their profile photos on Google Images or TinEye
- Tell a trusted friend or family member about the relationship
- Never send money, gift cards, or cryptocurrency to someone you have not met in person
- Report suspected romance scammers to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and the platform
- If pig-butchering investment was involved, also report to the FBI IC3 at ic3.gov
Frequently asked questions
What is pig butchering?
Pig butchering (sha zhu pan) is a scam combining romance with investment fraud. The scammer builds a romantic relationship, introduces a fraudulent investment platform, encourages increasing deposits over time, and then vanishes when the victim tries to withdraw. The 'fattening' phase can last months.
Is it possible to recover money lost in a romance scam?
Recovery is difficult. Funds sent via wire transfer, cryptocurrency, or gift cards are hard to retrieve. Report immediately to your bank and the FTC. Law enforcement has recovered some funds in large-scale operations but individual recovery is uncommon. See /recovery for the full checklist.
Can I meet real people on dating apps?
Yes, most dating app users are genuine. The key protective habits are: meet in person within a reasonable time frame, video-call before developing deep emotional investment, and never send money regardless of the story.